Good Decision Making 101

(submitted by Theresa)

Ann said cats dont travel well . . . but as usual, I knew better. In preparation for our trip with our animals I purchased new harnesses, a blue one for Buddy and a cute red for Nay-nay. While packing up our new rig (fifth wheel) I tried to get Nay-nay accustom to her new home away from home by taking her inside so she could bond with what would be her new surroundings. It was to no avail. She bolted out every time I put her inside. I knew things would change once we were on the road so we packed her up and headed out on our trip.
Our first stop was Mikes dentist who insisted it would only take 15 minutes to place the his new cap in place. Buddy, Nay-nay and I sat out in the back parking lot of a grocery store across from the dentists office and waited for what seemed like an eternity in the car. I decide the animals needed fresh air, (I could smoke) so we decided to sit outside. Buddy on his leash was pretty good. Nay-nay wasnt too sure about her harness so I tied it to the handle of her carrying case. She tried to move it around at first but I held it down and she seemed to settle down and be glad to be sitting outside. Well three smokes and a good hour later Mike finally surfaced, just slightly irritable from his recent dental work. That is when our troubles began. Buddy got so excited that he took off running to greet his dad, I must of stood up at that moment not thinking about Nay-nay and she must have gotten spooked and took off running in the other direction--her carrying case bouncing loudly behind. She ran in circles though the parking lot. The further she ran the more frightened she became and the faster she went and the louder it got and the more frightened she became and the faster she went. Mike took off chasing the cat. Buddy delighted in this new family game started chasing his dad. I was looking for a place to put out my cigarette and in family style decided I better get the dog so I started chasing Buddy. It all happened so fast the only thing I am sure of is we must have circled our All American Metal Mass (long bed-extended cab truck and 35 ft. rig) two or three times. The last time around I was able to get Buddy back in the truck. Nay-nay in her quest to get away from Mike ran under the truck and that seemed to be the answer to our unfortunate situation, because her case got caught under the truck. I warned Mike, who was tiring from the exercise and was on the other side of the truck that she was coming his way and he needed to head her off at the pass. I quickly ran around to the other side of the truck where I observed Nay-nay and Mike a jumbled mess of fur and blood. They were both quite traumatized by the event that for some reason seemed clear to me they both felt it was my entire fault. I was able to get Nay-nay back in her carrying case and Mike, trying not to drip blood on his new upholstery, back in the truck.

A dentist saw the event from his office window and came out to offer first-aide to Mikes wounds and inquire about our beautiful new rig. Mike was not much in a chatting mood declined both first aide and much conversation. Five minutes latter we were in our truck and it was time for our journey to start. We scaled the first 40 miles of Hwy 99 in silence until Mike realized he had forgotten to turn on the automatic sprinkler system. Mike felt we couldnt let the lawn turn brown and so maybe we should turn around and head back home.

And that is exactly what we didturned on the sprinkler system and dropped off Nay-nay. After all it must have been an omen that we needed to turn the sprinklers on.

What Would You Do With A Million Bucks? (06/18/01)

(submitted by Kairnah)

Patrick and I had watched The Price Is Right, which sort of led to our conversation about money. This was our conversation:

Kairnah: "Patrick, what would you do with a million dollars?"

Patrick: "As a kid or as an grown up?"

Kairnah: "As a kid."

Patrick: "As a kid I would buy toys, video games, a Play Station, a Gameboy...you know, stuff like that."

Kairnah: "And what about as a grown up?"

Patrick: "I would buy a car, a lamp, and the most important of all-groceries."

Kairnah: "What do you think I would buy with a million dollars?"

Patrick: "A pedicure, a car, and.....you should really think about a new hairdo."

Tupperware Trouble!

(submitted by Mo)

And then there was this time... at the Tupperware party... when Beth, Sarah, Carolyn and myself were held captive by the Tupperware representative. Now I was trying to be nice because I assummed that the rep was a friend of Beth's through Creative Memories or school or whatever, but... I was worried when she took an hour to set up all her goods on Beth's table, figuring that we might be in for a long one, but really, how long can one talk about Tupperware? I believe that we had the honor of being present as the record was broken at this particular party! 2 hours and 30 minutes! I "exspecially"(her favorite word that she used many times during the demonstration) liked all her personal anticdotes about EACH and EVERY piece of plastic that she held up! After the 2 1/2 hours of talking she was feeling pretty comfortable with the crowd, so she decided to let us all in on some of the juicy details of her life. We learned that her ex-husband had recently started to call and e-mail her which is really a coincidence since she is looking to get out of her present marriage. It seems her ex has some great insights into her psyche not as he has pronounced her "clinically depressed", which she now admits to! She was very interested to learn that Sarah was a lawyer and wondered if there was any way to lodge a complaint about another lawyer and a judge. Sarah was gracious and offered advice about contacting the California Law Board, but then she launched into yet another story about her 17 year old son (the one that she still likes to have lay across her lap like when he was a baby) and the "trouble" that he had gotten into because after all "he is 17 and 17 year olds tend to find trouble". Well she was pretty outraged because the judge yelled at her for shaking her head in court. Now she did give us a demonstration of the head shaking in question and it did not seem offensive, but the judge had threatened to have her thrown out of the courtroom, so she would like to complain about him giving her the mean-mouth. I only really got uncomfortable when she took so long to total up what I owed (either the sum was too high to calculate or she was afraid to break off one of her purple Lee nails on the calculator). After all of that, after we had escaped, I found out that this was not a friend of Beth's after all! Sarah informed me that Beth had met this lady at the Tupperware kiosk at the mall!!! I even think that Beth went to HER! Moral of the story, if Beth asks you to a party that involves microwave cake and your checkbook, RUN!

The Twilight Zone

(submitted by Beth)

This Saturday was the day of my Tupperware party and we were busy cleaning and preparing for the festivities. I asked Mikey repeatedly what he planned to do with the boys during the party, but he remained non-commital. During the cleaning I looked over to find that David had taken full advantage of our preoccupation. He found his little blue chair and pushed it over to the garbage can. There he proceeded to hop up on the chair and "belly up" to the previous days' consumptions. He was busy picking through old biscuits and pancakes when I caught him, Just In Time, thank goodness! When the festivities got underway, Mike loaded up the boys and off they went to the one place they love to go without me, Arbys! However the long winded Tupperware consultant was still going when they returned. I think that the plan was to remain out of sight, but the boys had other ideas. Patrick was watching a noisy movie downstairs, and finally I got up to end the distractions. I had a hard time getting Patricks attention and finally I sternly said:
"Patrick! Where is Dad!" in which he begrudginly replied:
"Upstairs!" I tried to confirm with him by asking:
"Dad's upstairs?" when he finally turned around and asked me with a puzzled face:
"What did you say, Dad?" I took a step back and then decided to leave it alone and return to my party. Needless to say, I felt like I was in the Twighlight Zone.

Our Trip To McDonalds (06/13/01)

(submitted by Matt)